How to Have an Open Relationship Minus the Drama

We all go through periods in our lives when being in a committed relationship is much too complicated for our lifestyle. Yes, being involved in a passionate relationship can be enjoyable and life altering, but it can also be complex and disastrous, causing unnecessary stress and drama. Throw in your career, school, family, and friends and you’re stretching yourself very thin.

6713Therefore, being in a deep relationship may not be the best move. Many of us seek serious relationships or remain in unhealthy ones due to our need for intimacy and sex. You don’t need to be committed to someone to have fulfilling sexual gratification and an intimate bond with another person. By engaging in a casual relationship, you get the best of both worlds. And, if you play it right, you can avoid the drama that comes with traditional relationships.

So how do you pull off a friends with benefits situation without anyone getting hurt? Here are some tips to have a healthy and safe no strings attached affair.

Be Open and Honest

Honesty is key to any healthy relationship
Honesty is key to any healthy relationship

Lies and deception can ruin any relationship, particularly those involving sex, so be upfront with your partner about your intentions from the start. If you aren’t looking for anything serious or long term, but your potential sex buddy is, make sure you discuss this with him or her before you even think of getting it on.

If you two can’t reach an understanding then it’s best to move to the next one, because catching feelings can lead to complications. If you’re sleeping with other people, it’s best to disclose this information as well. This way your bed mates know what’s going on and can decide if this situation works for them. It also can help ensure the health of everyone involved.

Be Safe

Whether you have a steady fuck buddy (or five), you must wrap it up each and every time you have sex of any kind, including oral. Using a condom or dental dam when you’re exchanging head can be a drag, but it’s a must if you’re involved in an open relationship. Besides condoms, don’t forget to use lubrication if you’re engaging in anal sex because it can cause anal tearing leaving you even more susceptible to STDs. And there are a ton of options out there, including those that are flavored, water-based, strictly for anal use, and so on. And once you know which type, Adam & Eve makes it easier to narrow down which one to buy because they list all the information you’d need to know about the lubes. Not only that, but they come with customer reviews, too, so you can see which one will work best for you and your partner.

Most importantly, remember to get yourself tested regularly. Also, encourage anyone you’re bedding—or looking to bed—to do the same. Discussing your status and STDs when you’re in a serious relationship is tough enough, but talking about this with someone you just met on Swurve can be even more difficult and awkward. Luckily, there are many tips out there for how to have the status convo with your partner.

Know When to Call it Quits

As the saying goes, “all good things must come to an end,” and this is typically the case for friends with benefits relationships. Of course there are some that evolve into long-lasting, serious relationships, but most wither and die. While you shouldn’t try to predict the expiration date of your casual situation, keep in mind that it’s fleeting and focus on having fun.


I Hate That You Love Me

“Pretend that I don’t see you
Look the other way when you walk in the room
I pretend I’m lost in thought, when a sneak a look
Out the corner of my eye

And it goes on and on and on and on and on
Laying out a pavement in my head
And it goes on and on and on and on and on
It’s way past just a game”——lyrics from Snakehips “On and On”

Dating. Relationships. Dre. That’s not a good mixture. Have I met the right person? Have I met someone who I think is 100% worth it? I’m not sure. I’ve met people who have qualities that I fall in love with. Which is a great thing but I’m getting to an age where I’d rather meet someone who I fall in love with 100%.

I’m finding that as I get older, I’m beginning to find that fewer people want that type of steady of relationship. I’m finding that people are more into the “Let’s Sleep Around” type of relationship. Eh, I’ve got no time for that. Sitting back and letting things happen when nature says that it’s time.

The reason that I posted the lyrics from the song above. Reminds me of the way that you feel as you a new relationship, maybe the way you feel when you have a crush on someone. Just kind of spoke to me and I wanted to share. However, if you listen to the song look for the Kaytranada remix. That version is the one I heard that spoke to me, the other versions while the lyrics are the same, it wasn’t the same profound message.

Just some thoughts at the moment.



Usually That Someone Turns Out To Be Me……

“I got to know you now, we may never meet again.I got to know you now and then.” is the chorus to “Know You Now” by the late Amy Winehouse. It’s a short simple song that is very light and leaves the meaning behind the lyrics for interpretation. I tend to over analyze things to the point that it begins to sound foolish.

The meaning I was able to take from this particular song to use in my life: Get to know someone first. You can always sleep with someone later on. Build a meaningful relationship, because meaningful relationships aren’t built on one night stands. However, it’s not always the case when it comes to me.

Usually that someone turns out to be me, unfortunately, I’m a little boy crazy. We all have our vices and flaws, there could be many things worse than being boy crazy, am I right? Sometimes I wonder, did this boy crazy obsession come about because I missed out in high school or college. Nope. Kind of just means I’m a slut….I’m kidding Mom!!!

It’s weird I don’t really ever want to be attached to someone with a title unless I know it’s real. At the same time, I never felt like I would be that twenty-something year old not in a relationship. I haven’t had a relationship in just about 3 years. That isn’t a long time by any means but it’s still pretty long when you factor things in that you can do as a couple.

I like the freedom that being single allows me in a sense. I’m free to date whomever and learn what I like and don’t like. I dislike the behaviors that come from it, such as sleeping around. Romp, Shag, Fuck, Sex, Diddle, etc the list could go on forever, things that I prefer to do in a relationship.

I’m not promiscuous, I believe in monogamy. However, I found myself adapting into these behaviors that were almost downright man whoreish. If I was out on a date, it seemed like nobody really wanted to get to know me, they just wanted to get to know me enough to get in my pants. Not to say I’m not to blame for that as well, because I mean I make decisions but at least wait a few dates. I believe there are other factors that are involved with this as well.

I take a look at most of my friends and they are couples. Couples that have been together since either high school or college. I think also the stand offish attitude of the typical Bostonians definitely doesn’t factor in well. Everyone is trying to either out do the other or just ignore you for other reasons(that’s another blog)!

Weird thing,this guy wanted to date and he asked me if I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship but allow for various sexual partners to be introduced!!!!(Entirely different blog in the making but it’s something to think about)

But back to the real story at hand, being a man whore is far from cute. It’s not rewarding at all, I personally was feeling lost. I wasn’t able to see with clarity on what I actually wanted from a person anymore. One thing I will state: I do not regret any of my experiences. Life is too short to regret anything. Everything in life is a lesson and what you’re willing to comprehend from that lesson is up to you. I try to learn the lesson and better myself. It isn’t always a perfect science, it takes time. Be patient.

It’s really beautiful when a relationship just has simplicity around all the flaws involved