2013: You Better Be The Year For Me

Let’s Make The Most Of Our Night Like We’re Gonna Die Young

Christmas was good this year. Didn’t get to actually do the semi-surprise getaway that I had planned for because of work but that’s ok. MGM Grand is there next year, right? It actually worked out because I ended up feeling really sick and slept from 6:30 Christmas Eve until 3 on Christmas Day. Sometimes your body just needs it. However, we were able to get last minute reservations at Ceres Bistro at The Beechwood Hotel in Worcester, Ma, was a really good meal actually. The staff was great, the food was great. I’ll definitely be going back again for brunch. I actually liked how the restaurant is curved like the hotel, so you have really nice views, especially in the summertime.

Ceres Bistro @ Beechwood Hotel
Ceres Bistro @ Beechwood Hotel

Seriously, Ke$ha I couldn’t agree with that statement more. It seems like every year since 2010 has just been a shitty year, one right after the other. Not even a break to give me a second to breathe! Granted, I’ve met some really great people and have had some great experiences in this time frame but not a stellar year that is like “Wow, you’ve made the right decisions!” Granted, there has been a lot of wrong decisions in there, I’m sure of it but I just have that luck where one wrong decision turns into a lifetime of bad decisions. I’m praying, hoping, needing, wanting for 2013 to justify all the shitty years prior.

I understand that life happens and those experiences make you a stronger person. What doesn’t kill you makes stronger, I mean if Kelly Clarkson is singing that tune then it’s obviously true…..*insert eyeroll* but no really, it’s true, right? I think that 2013 needs to be the year for me in a sense. Despite coming off as an extremely self involved person, which I’m actually not if people took the time to actually get to really know me, but then maybe that’s my fault because I don’t let people get to know me because I don’t have time for BULLSHIT. Although, bullshit seems to follow me around wherever I go. Maybe this is the year that I move out, move away and forget about this awful city. Well, it’s not awful, I just need a break from it. I need a new appreciation for other cities and then to come back to appreciate this city.

On a daily basis, I feel as though I’m becoming more and more of a person that I’m not. The only thing that really makes me happy is music and friends. Good music and good friends are all you can really ask for in life.

I wish all my friends nothing but happiness in 2013. 2012 was one of the shittiest years around and I wish so hard to forget it. As Danielle Staub says “Love and Light”


Nothing’s Promised but a Graveyard…

I often what my first impression to someone is. It doesn’t help me that I have a monotone voice, or that contrary to popular belief I’m very introverted. I live for being around people but I’m painfully shy, more than you’ll ever know. So it’s only naturally as I grow older and encounter more people I wonder what my first impression really is.

Over the years, I’ve received everything from intimidating, bitchy, mean and I’ve gotten nice. I have a very dry sense of humor and can be very sarcastic so I often wonder how people perceive this. I mean nobody really tries to be bitchy, yeah I joke around and act higher than thou with friends but has that really transcended into my personality as an extension of who I am? I hope not!

It’s funny, a friend of mine who has known me for years was saying how he could see that people perceive me as bitchy! I was shocked because up until recently we never talked much about where we were at career wise, so it did come as quite a shock that’s what he really thought.

I thank my grandmother for my attitude problem. I’m accountable for my decisions and what I do but she always instilled in me that I was entitled to things, I could do things my way because I was simply me. Great message to send kids! I think so much of her holier than thou attitude has come into my personality more so than I know how to deal with at times. So where do I to from there? How do I be the change? I try to be more subconscious about it but how do I really put the end to it?

One of the mysteries in life, I’ll have to take one step a time.