How to Have an Open Relationship Minus the Drama

We all go through periods in our lives when being in a committed relationship is much too complicated for our lifestyle. Yes, being involved in a passionate relationship can be enjoyable and life altering, but it can also be complex and disastrous, causing unnecessary stress and drama. Throw in your career, school, family, and friends and you’re stretching yourself very thin.

6713Therefore, being in a deep relationship may not be the best move. Many of us seek serious relationships or remain in unhealthy ones due to our need for intimacy and sex. You don’t need to be committed to someone to have fulfilling sexual gratification and an intimate bond with another person. By engaging in a casual relationship, you get the best of both worlds. And, if you play it right, you can avoid the drama that comes with traditional relationships.

So how do you pull off a friends with benefits situation without anyone getting hurt? Here are some tips to have a healthy and safe no strings attached affair.

Be Open and Honest

Honesty is key to any healthy relationship
Honesty is key to any healthy relationship

Lies and deception can ruin any relationship, particularly those involving sex, so be upfront with your partner about your intentions from the start. If you aren’t looking for anything serious or long term, but your potential sex buddy is, make sure you discuss this with him or her before you even think of getting it on.

If you two can’t reach an understanding then it’s best to move to the next one, because catching feelings can lead to complications. If you’re sleeping with other people, it’s best to disclose this information as well. This way your bed mates know what’s going on and can decide if this situation works for them. It also can help ensure the health of everyone involved.

Be Safe

Whether you have a steady fuck buddy (or five), you must wrap it up each and every time you have sex of any kind, including oral. Using a condom or dental dam when you’re exchanging head can be a drag, but it’s a must if you’re involved in an open relationship. Besides condoms, don’t forget to use lubrication if you’re engaging in anal sex because it can cause anal tearing leaving you even more susceptible to STDs. And there are a ton of options out there, including those that are flavored, water-based, strictly for anal use, and so on. And once you know which type, Adam & Eve makes it easier to narrow down which one to buy because they list all the information you’d need to know about the lubes. Not only that, but they come with customer reviews, too, so you can see which one will work best for you and your partner.

Most importantly, remember to get yourself tested regularly. Also, encourage anyone you’re bedding—or looking to bed—to do the same. Discussing your status and STDs when you’re in a serious relationship is tough enough, but talking about this with someone you just met on Swurve can be even more difficult and awkward. Luckily, there are many tips out there for how to have the status convo with your partner.

Know When to Call it Quits

As the saying goes, “all good things must come to an end,” and this is typically the case for friends with benefits relationships. Of course there are some that evolve into long-lasting, serious relationships, but most wither and die. While you shouldn’t try to predict the expiration date of your casual situation, keep in mind that it’s fleeting and focus on having fun.


Cause All Them Bitches Ratchet…….

I be trippin’, I be flippin’ I be so belligerent

It all comes, down to this…….and I’m about to explain in…..5….4….3….2….1!
So what I need for you to do is explain “Open Relationships”. I really don’t understand it to be quite honest. The appeal of it says “I tell you that I love you but at the same time you aren’t my everything.” I’ve always viewed as you are good enough in almost every capacity but yet I’m not fulfilled so I seek it elsewhere. While some people it works for it, I don’t see it working for me, EVER!!!  

Here’s the questions that I ask: When is it actually an open relationship? When is it actually cheating? How do you take an open relationship to the next level of commitment? Before you start off saying….”You’re just some bitter single gay man!’….Fuck is on your biscuit?!…because I’m not….I’m actually really trying to understand and open my eyes to what seems to be the next new thing. I mean if it is working for you and you are able to make it work…I applaud you in all seriousness because it’s something I wouldn’t be able to do.

It probably stems from my own issues with jealousy….will I ever work them out? Probably not, that’s the one type of sharing I can’t honestly see myself actually letting myself do. Life is too short to always have to wonder about the cat you let outside to play and the type of fleas that he could bring back. I mean, aside from the possible emotional damage that it can cause over time, does anybody really think about the potential physical side effects if someone isn’t honest. With the invention of the internet comes the availability to get a piece of ass faster than a waiting for your Boar’s Head Peppercorn Turkey at the local deli, so imagine how fast it is for someone to lie and give you something you’ll remember them by for a life time. NO THANK YOU GIRL!  I’m not trying to sway views or opinions…I just wanna know. I’m not saying that I haven’t used the internet to be a little bit of a Hoe Hopping Herbert but I’m just saying…if I were going to use it for my “open relationship” that dog better come with all of the papers from the vet!…..Honey, Dre Dre don’t want or need to be going to get a Distemper Shot…WOOF WOOF WOOF!!

So if you can get past that….I want to know…..if you are in an open relationship, are there rules for cheating? What constitutes as cheating at this point? I mean you’ve already basically have said “Have your cake honey and eat that cake too…and while your at it….Have some of his cake too!….Need a napkin?” Am I right?!  I would imagine that it  would be harder to define cheating at this point and you would probably end up in a game of back n forth…he said, she said…..kind of annoying and not my cup of Blood Orange Tea in the morning.


Please….Explain! I’m waiting! 5…4….3….2…FUCK IT..1…..So before I let you explain..I’m gonna tell you why I am not a jump off piece! I’m sure that I have hooked up with someone in my past and maybe even at times knowingly in the PAST…hooked up with someone or whatever  and they had someone waiting at home for them. I regret it with all my heart….I truly do. It’s the worst feeling to be cheated on, or even the worst feeling to know that you aren’t good enough to satisfy someone as a whole so they feel the need to “seek” someone else to fulfill that capacity. As I get older now and realize what it is I want for my future relationships and what I don’t want…it saddens me to think that people are leaving monogamy and going for ratchet open door policy relationships….because let me tell you….the next fucker who decides he wants to cheat on me….Heaven forbid it isn’t the man who I call my husband cause I would hate to have to blow up his car, clothes, house and kids like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale….but don’t ever underestimate a black boy scorned. Life is just too short to always have to wonder about these things. It’s scary that I think like this and I’m only 26….but at the same time……gotta learn to find happiness in your life without counting on other people. Gotta learn to do the things in life that you love, enjoy the people that matter most to you while they are in your life. Nothing last forever cause time ain’t forever!

So if you fancy an Open Door Relationship Policy….I applaud that and if you actually make it work….4 for you Glen Coco. If you prefer a Cat Doesn’t Go Out To Play Policy……I applaud that as well….4 for you Glen Coco again….Be Happy. Be Free.Be Safe…Don’t be Ratchet!