Turning 30

Truth

I know I’ve only been 30 for about 17 days, 10 hours and 45 minutes, however, I think that gives me a little authority on the subject.

Everybody tells you that it isn’t bad turning 30. In fact, they go one step further and say it’s like any other birthday. That’s a boldface lie. It’s slightly different because now you happen your an official adult. No more milestone birthdays to make transition through decades easier. 

All jokes aside though turning 30 wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned. It was totally fine. If your definition is crying at weird moments throughout the weekend then it was totally fine. Not only did I cry during “Sing Street”, I cried at dinner, I cried after dinner before bed, I cried the following morning and I’m sure I cried some more. I’m placing blame on the new moon and Saturn’s retrograde.

New Lessons: Things I Learned In My 20s

1. It’s going to hurt. You will cry. It’s an excuse to buy shoes. Don’t let heartbreak harden your heart. Just because you like that person today, doesn’t mean you will in a few months. Have fun but try with caution. If you happen to find your soul mate, good for you. Every failed relationship is a way to look at yourself and see what it is you want and how to go about seeking it in positive ways.

   

   Gretchen was actually really fetch about this

2. You have to fail just once at something. If you fail, “Dust yourself off and try again.” -Aaliyah. Failure is one of the greatest teachers we can learn from. I’ve had my share of failures and it took a long time to finally come to a place where I’m okay with them. Without those failures, I don’t think I’d appreciate the lessons I’ve learned in the past few years. Check your ego at the door. 
3. The family you choose is a wonderful thing. People come into your life at particular moment, sometimes they leave at particular moments. As you grow older, you want people in your group that are supportive, have similar ideals as yourself. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. It’s not satisfying. Some of these friends, you’ve shared tough and happy times with. Don’t take them for granted.
4. Time waits for no one. It’s precious. Learn it. Live it. Love it. No, I mean that. If people want to throw their bad energy into the harmony your trying to create, it’s really okay to walk away from those situations. You are in charge of your life and happiness. Your boss was fine before your arrival and he’ll be fine after your departure. However, if it comes to friendships, you should grow a set of balls and learn to talk about the issues before throwing away friendships. Communicate before you eradicate.

   

   Really though?

5. You start to appreciate yourself more than you thought you did. Spending time alone doesn’t bother you as much. Learning new hobbies actually seems like a fun idea. In an ideal world, the more we knew who we are and the more we love ourselves, the more you start to live life.
   I know myself!
6. You never stop learning. People are always evolving. You come to a point where you realize, nobody really knows how to do this called “Adulting.” It’s just everybody trying to find their own path and dealing with the bumps along the way.

   

   This is life.

   In essence, it’s not bad turning 30. A little scary because no two paths are alike. Keep making new mistakes, living when you can, creating memories and you’ll move forward.

   Nothing a sheet mask and a glass of wine can’t fix, right?

2013: You Better Be The Year For Me

Let’s Make The Most Of Our Night Like We’re Gonna Die Young

Christmas was good this year. Didn’t get to actually do the semi-surprise getaway that I had planned for because of work but that’s ok. MGM Grand is there next year, right? It actually worked out because I ended up feeling really sick and slept from 6:30 Christmas Eve until 3 on Christmas Day. Sometimes your body just needs it. However, we were able to get last minute reservations at Ceres Bistro at The Beechwood Hotel in Worcester, Ma, was a really good meal actually. The staff was great, the food was great. I’ll definitely be going back again for brunch. I actually liked how the restaurant is curved like the hotel, so you have really nice views, especially in the summertime.

Ceres Bistro @ Beechwood Hotel

Seriously, Ke$ha I couldn’t agree with that statement more. It seems like every year since 2010 has just been a shitty year, one right after the other. Not even a break to give me a second to breathe! Granted, I’ve met some really great people and have had some great experiences in this time frame but not a stellar year that is like “Wow, you’ve made the right decisions!” Granted, there has been a lot of wrong decisions in there, I’m sure of it but I just have that luck where one wrong decision turns into a lifetime of bad decisions. I’m praying, hoping, needing, wanting for 2013 to justify all the shitty years prior.

I understand that life happens and those experiences make you a stronger person. What doesn’t kill you makes stronger, I mean if Kelly Clarkson is singing that tune then it’s obviously true…..*insert eyeroll* but no really, it’s true, right? I think that 2013 needs to be the year for me in a sense. Despite coming off as an extremely self involved person, which I’m actually not if people took the time to actually get to really know me, but then maybe that’s my fault because I don’t let people get to know me because I don’t have time for BULLSHIT. Although, bullshit seems to follow me around wherever I go. Maybe this is the year that I move out, move away and forget about this awful city. Well, it’s not awful, I just need a break from it. I need a new appreciation for other cities and then to come back to appreciate this city.

On a daily basis, I feel as though I’m becoming more and more of a person that I’m not. The only thing that really makes me happy is music and friends. Good music and good friends are all you can really ask for in life.

I wish all my friends nothing but happiness in 2013. 2012 was one of the shittiest years around and I wish so hard to forget it. As Danielle Staub says “Love and Light”

Dre

A Memory Isn’t A Thousand Words…….

It’s truly a memory and we’re suppose to cherish that moment!

For some reason this year, maybe it’s because the end of the year is coming to a close but I am finding myself reminiscing of the New Year Eve’s parties that I used to attend in middle school at a fellow classmates house. Matt used to throw awesome parties, our middle school was small so it was easy enough to pretty much invite everyone. Everyone got a long that went, it was nice. We thought we were pretty bad-ass, we would walk to the high school near his house, walk to the grocery store, go back to his house, stay up late and it was just innocent fun.

Unfortunately, as we have gotten older, we’ve all have lost touch with each other. The middle school was small and I bet you I could name all the children in the middle school from the 6th grade to 8th grade, BOTH YEARS!!!!! That I attended anyways. My best friend Kelly at the time of middle school and I was practically inseparable, we hung out, she introduced me to her friends outside of the school and we were “The Cool Kids” in our school…..despite the fact that the 8th grade graduating class was only like 8 of us total, WE OWNED IT. Out of the blue today, I saw a Facebook message from her and I wasn’t sure if it was typical Facebook spam but I opened it. This is what I saw:

Kelly and Andrae

When I saw this picture, I burst out into laughter. I looked so young, she looked so young. I remember all the fun times that we all had in middle school. I remember the mean things we did to classmates, the jokes, the times we all sort of fought, it brought back a youthful innocent. Definitely more than a 1000 words, the feeling that I feel as I write this is just one of happiness. You don’t realize until you look back at a picture how much people mean to you or even how much certain people made such a lasting impression on your life. The really crazy thing, I haven’t seen any of the kids from middle school since I graduated and went to my first year of high school. OH MY GOD!!!, I just realized that I started high school in 2000!!! That makes it that much of a real thing to me, 12 years have gone by. That’s crazy, however everyone seems  fine which is the important thing. Maybe one day we’ll have that New Covenant Christian School reunion. I believe the school is now defunct, but the memories will stay for sure.

I don’t know why I started thinking about those parties at Matt’s house lately, I think in part that those were the best NYE’s that I’ve ever had. Togetherness in a setting that wasn’t overwhelming. As we grow older, we realize what’s important to us. I realized that I truly love every friend that I have ever had, they mean so much to me, whether you seem them all the time or too much, they’re your friends. When seeing this picture I laughed out loud cause I remember I was at Kelly’s house and we looked at Abercrombie catalogs together when we were actually supposed to be making a gingerbread house….Oops! Show me a picture of me in 9th grade, 10th grade, 11th grade, etc…..I can recite those memories like the credit card and in vivid detail. Life’s amazing like that and you have to cherish it. One day you realize……

 

 

It’s the Pleasure Principle

Growing up for some reason I’ve always felt a strange connection to this song. Before truly understanding the meaning of this song, just alone watching the video, I always felt a connection. The excitement of the video, the choreography simple yet so intricate. Something just always resonates and makes me feel so good.

In terms of the meaning of the lyrics, haha I just really figured out the meaning of it. Or what it means to me.

I often times think of the song as being about a person who is sick of the bullshit games that’s being played by the person he or she is involved with. It’s about liberation, freedom, maybe independence!!! It’s a song that speaks on so many different levels that I think that almost anyone can relate too! Plus it’s Janet Jackson….I mean HELLO!!!!