Turning 30

Truth

I know I’ve only been 30 for about 17 days, 10 hours and 45 minutes, however, I think that gives me a little authority on the subject.

Everybody tells you that it isn’t bad turning 30. In fact, they go one step further and say it’s like any other birthday. That’s a boldface lie. It’s slightly different because now you happen your an official adult. No more milestone birthdays to make transition through decades easier. 

All jokes aside though turning 30 wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned. It was totally fine. If your definition is crying at weird moments throughout the weekend then it was totally fine. Not only did I cry during “Sing Street”, I cried at dinner, I cried after dinner before bed, I cried the following morning and I’m sure I cried some more. I’m placing blame on the new moon and Saturn’s retrograde.

New Lessons: Things I Learned In My 20s

1. It’s going to hurt. You will cry. It’s an excuse to buy shoes. Don’t let heartbreak harden your heart. Just because you like that person today, doesn’t mean you will in a few months. Have fun but try with caution. If you happen to find your soul mate, good for you. Every failed relationship is a way to look at yourself and see what it is you want and how to go about seeking it in positive ways.

   

   Gretchen was actually really fetch about this

2. You have to fail just once at something. If you fail, “Dust yourself off and try again.” -Aaliyah. Failure is one of the greatest teachers we can learn from. I’ve had my share of failures and it took a long time to finally come to a place where I’m okay with them. Without those failures, I don’t think I’d appreciate the lessons I’ve learned in the past few years. Check your ego at the door. 
3. The family you choose is a wonderful thing. People come into your life at particular moment, sometimes they leave at particular moments. As you grow older, you want people in your group that are supportive, have similar ideals as yourself. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. It’s not satisfying. Some of these friends, you’ve shared tough and happy times with. Don’t take them for granted.
4. Time waits for no one. It’s precious. Learn it. Live it. Love it. No, I mean that. If people want to throw their bad energy into the harmony your trying to create, it’s really okay to walk away from those situations. You are in charge of your life and happiness. Your boss was fine before your arrival and he’ll be fine after your departure. However, if it comes to friendships, you should grow a set of balls and learn to talk about the issues before throwing away friendships. Communicate before you eradicate.

   

   Really though?

5. You start to appreciate yourself more than you thought you did. Spending time alone doesn’t bother you as much. Learning new hobbies actually seems like a fun idea. In an ideal world, the more we knew who we are and the more we love ourselves, the more you start to live life.
   I know myself!
6. You never stop learning. People are always evolving. You come to a point where you realize, nobody really knows how to do this called “Adulting.” It’s just everybody trying to find their own path and dealing with the bumps along the way.

   

   This is life.

   In essence, it’s not bad turning 30. A little scary because no two paths are alike. Keep making new mistakes, living when you can, creating memories and you’ll move forward.

   Nothing a sheet mask and a glass of wine can’t fix, right?

Sunday Shoes: Golden Goose

Not that I need another pair of shoes since the last pair of shoes that I purchased are still in the box and haven’t even been charged yet. That’s right, I bought a pair of the LED light up shoes because I absolutely needed a pair.

My Philosphy

I really have been on the lookout for a pair of iridescent shoes since the hologram trend came about a few years ago. So naturally I went on the search and found these from Golden Goose on Shoescribe.

While the price tag is a bit hefty for what I’d like to spend on the moment on shoes, a boy can only hope for his birthday, right?

Middle Finger In The Air

“I’m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all the questions.”

Life is far too short to deal with bullshit. People spend way too much time and energy trying play games. FUCK THE GAMES. FUCK THE BULLSHIT! BE REAL! BE TRUTHFUL! FUCK BEING FAKE!

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UR FAKENESS!

 

 

 

End of Summer: PTown Carnival 2014

Morning At The Marina

Summer is officially over! Nothing else to look forward to this season. I could be bummed out about it, however, I’m not. I’m actually taking the time to look back on the fun things that I did when I wasn’t working. One of those things actually was experiencing Provincetown during the summer months!

Provincetown is a wonderful community at the tip of cape in Massachusetts. A wide array of many people and in the summer it gets really packed. My friend Joe who run’s Contagious Events hosted a trip to Ptown for their Carnival celebration in August. If you’ve never experienced, it is something you must. Thank you Ryan for use of your boat! Hopefully next year we get to be in the parade. Looks like a lot of fun!

 

Is It Possible To Be Too Inspired?

I'm so inspired at the moment that I'm feeling to inspired. It's kind of frustrating because I can't pick a focal point. I can't focus on one simple thing, just a bunch of inspiration and can't seem to get into gear. I have too much to look forward to this summer and upcoming fall that I wish it were kind of here already so that I could be pursuing new endeavors. Ya know?!

Change is good though, so I'm welcoming it with open arms. I want to embrace it. September will roll around before I know and then it'll be time to swing into action.

TO DO LIST: 

Get learners permit again.

Learn to drive.

Pass driver’s license test.

Save. Save. Save. Save. Save. Save. Save.

Enjoy summer!

 

Finding Balance

Amen

“Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.”–Jessye Norman

I’m so glad I found that quote. How do you find the balance?  No, really someone tell me. I’m on a quest for different coping mechanisms so that I don’t internalize things. It can be such a draining habit to internal everything that I would absorb throughout the day or even over the years started clouding my energy and creating an air of negativity. As I begin a new chapter in life, I want actually give my all without any kind of energy looming over.

True

I keep telling myself that I’m going to try yoga. I keep looking at Lululemon thinking “I would have the cutest outfit for yoga.” Although, I’m pretty sure that’s not the point of why people go. So Sunday morning, I spent most of the morning reading different perspectives. One of my clients/friend/fellow blogger has her own business and blog which focuses on yoga, self-love, Chakras, etc.I highly recommend it. Jenny Ravikumar, she’ll Skype with you while working on your plan.. No really. Take a look for yourself. It really inspired me to take this new chapter on in a different approach. A bit of self-love never hurt anybody, right?

How do you find balance in life?

For A Season……For A Reason

Friends are a lot like clothing. Best friends are there forever like that sweatshirt you lounge around in every season with your mud masque and hair tied up cleaning the house. People you know are there for a season, kind of like mass-produced clothing that  you find in the stores that changes every two weeks.

I have more clothing then I actually wear . I have more shoes than I actually wear . I know who my true friends are. I know who my seasonal friends are. As I was getting my items ready for donating, I got to thinking, is it time to clean house with my friends? How many of friends actually take the time to actually care about me like I care about them? So why not clean house?

The best friendships in life are the kind when you have those periods of constant communication, constant contact and then you have those periods of distance but as soon as you reconnect, it’s as if nothing was ever missing. I like those a lot. It’s not overwhelming, you don’t feel like your being smothered. It’s an organic and natural cycle.I do think that seasonal friends are sometimes needed. However, as I get older, I realize that seasons change and I prefer my seasons to have a little more longevity.

It makes it hard to know which items to get rid of and which items that I really find are worth keeping close to me. That’s the great thing about life. Letting go one, to make room for another. When it comes to my shoes, that’ll take some time to figure that out.

Dre

The Flight From Hell

Just as it sounds, I experienced my first “Flight from Hell” and it wasn’t because of workers. It was because of two ignorant people actions and words. I know that people make fun of people for no reason whatsoever. Everyone is guilty of it, I am not saying that I’m 100% perfect but I also know when to comment about something. It doesn’t make it better but I’m not going to blatantly pick on someone.

Boston to Philadelphia was fine. Philadelphia to Los Angeles was a different story. Everyone has their own taste in fashion. Individual style is what makes who we are. It’s our way of expressing ourselves as people. I can respect that. I respect everyone’s personal taste. Be you!

So I’m sitting in my seat and this grown woman. I use the term  “grown woman” because she was married, step-mother and flirting with her seatmate because they both were  seated apart. Whatever I’ll be waiting for that story to end up on the ID Channel. I had on the most comfortable outfit. She immediately takes a glance at my shoes and text her husband and made a Facebook status about it. I have pretty good vision.

So she starts talking to her seatmate about it. As you know, the First Class cabin section is very small and when people get drunk, almost everything they say is audible. So he kept taking peeks from his seat, trying to take a picture. However, I didn’t let them get away with it. I was always ready with a look back for them.

Journeying along our way(at this point seemed like such an eternity), we both made eye contact and she smiled at me. I knew it was fake but even at this point she might have redeemed herself if she didn’t immediately laugh. I might have told her I loved her very noticeable fake Hermes Birkin bag. I might have told her that I loved her really bad highlights. Just to break up this awkward tension. So then I heard them talking about taking their picture when the plane landed. Um……really? If you’d like a picture of my shoes that you find ridiculous, I truly don’t mind. I know they are ridiculous. They make me happy.

At this point, the plane couldn’t land fast enough. They’ve made fun of everyone at this point.  Just stop it. Seriously. So I stand up to get my luggage as the plane landed. The cabin light turned on and I saw her go for her phone. She looked at my shoes and laughed so hard. “Um….I dressed so that when I got off the plane I could immediately go out. I just don’t understand people.” is what she said looking at her seatmate. It’s 2014 and I am starting the year off right, so what she had on doesn’t matter. Personal style. Personal preference.

Before the plane even landed, I thought about the unimaginable words that I might have said to her face as I got off the plane. I really thought long and hard. I almost said it. I wish that my phone had been charged or my computer didn’t die but then again, I think it’s for the better that I didn’t have access to devices because I might have said something and ruined my start to 2014. So I got off the plane and didn’t say a thing. I walked right by her and let her have a last cheap laugh.

As I was waiting for my ride, several of the airport people came up to me as they were leaving and said they loved my shoes. 2013 ended with a smile.

Phew. Feel better. I put in the Burn Book and feel better.

Dre

How to Have an Open Relationship Minus the Drama

We all go through periods in our lives when being in a committed relationship is much too complicated for our lifestyle. Yes, being involved in a passionate relationship can be enjoyable and life altering, but it can also be complex and disastrous, causing unnecessary stress and drama. Throw in your career, school, family, and friends and you’re stretching yourself very thin.

Therefore, being in a deep relationship may not be the best move. Many of us seek serious relationships or remain in unhealthy ones due to our need for intimacy and sex. You don’t need to be committed to someone to have fulfilling sexual gratification and an intimate bond with another person. By engaging in a casual relationship, you get the best of both worlds. And, if you play it right, you can avoid the drama that comes with traditional relationships.

So how do you pull off a friends with benefits situation without anyone getting hurt? Here are some tips to have a healthy and safe no strings attached affair.

Be Open and Honest

Honesty is key to any healthy relationship

Lies and deception can ruin any relationship, particularly those involving sex, so be upfront with your partner about your intentions from the start. If you aren’t looking for anything serious or long term, but your potential sex buddy is, make sure you discuss this with him or her before you even think of getting it on.

If you two can’t reach an understanding then it’s best to move to the next one, because catching feelings can lead to complications. If you’re sleeping with other people, it’s best to disclose this information as well. This way your bed mates know what’s going on and can decide if this situation works for them. It also can help ensure the health of everyone involved.

Be Safe

Whether you have a steady fuck buddy (or five), you must wrap it up each and every time you have sex of any kind, including oral. Using a condom or dental dam when you’re exchanging head can be a drag, but it’s a must if you’re involved in an open relationship. Besides condoms, don’t forget to use lubrication if you’re engaging in anal sex because it can cause anal tearing leaving you even more susceptible to STDs. And there are a ton of options out there, including those that are flavored, water-based, strictly for anal use, and so on. And once you know which type, Adam & Eve makes it easier to narrow down which one to buy because they list all the information you’d need to know about the lubes. Not only that, but they come with customer reviews, too, so you can see which one will work best for you and your partner.

Most importantly, remember to get yourself tested regularly. Also, encourage anyone you’re bedding—or looking to bed—to do the same. Discussing your status and STDs when you’re in a serious relationship is tough enough, but talking about this with someone you just met on Swurve can be even more difficult and awkward. Luckily, there are many tips out there for how to have the status convo with your partner.

Know When to Call it Quits

As the saying goes, “all good things must come to an end,” and this is typically the case for friends with benefits relationships. Of course there are some that evolve into long-lasting, serious relationships, but most wither and die. While you shouldn’t try to predict the expiration date of your casual situation, keep in mind that it’s fleeting and focus on having fun.

I Hate That You Love Me

“Pretend that I don’t see you
Look the other way when you walk in the room
I pretend I’m lost in thought, when a sneak a look
Out the corner of my eye

And it goes on and on and on and on and on
Laying out a pavement in my head
And it goes on and on and on and on and on
It’s way past just a game”——lyrics from Snakehips “On and On”

Dating. Relationships. Dre. That’s not a good mixture. Have I met the right person? Have I met someone who I think is 100% worth it? I’m not sure. I’ve met people who have qualities that I fall in love with. Which is a great thing but I’m getting to an age where I’d rather meet someone who I fall in love with 100%.

I’m finding that as I get older, I’m beginning to find that fewer people want that type of steady of relationship. I’m finding that people are more into the “Let’s Sleep Around” type of relationship. Eh, I’ve got no time for that. Sitting back and letting things happen when nature says that it’s time.

The reason that I posted the lyrics from the song above. Reminds me of the way that you feel as you a new relationship, maybe the way you feel when you have a crush on someone. Just kind of spoke to me and I wanted to share. However, if you listen to the song look for the Kaytranada remix. That version is the one I heard that spoke to me, the other versions while the lyrics are the same, it wasn’t the same profound message.

Just some thoughts at the moment.

Dre