The last thing I need is another pair of shoes. I don’t. It’s absurd. However, this pair of shoes is going to symbolize something meaningful. These shoes are going will be the beginning of a new chapter. I’ll actually probably never wear them because of how much they will mean to me.
I’ve often avoided situations where I thought I would fail. An easy wait to protect yourself from the pain that comes with it. I never really felt mediocre until recently. Wondering where this was coming from, I took a hard look at certain things and realized.
You never know if you’re making the right decision. It could be a decision you regret. You never know if it’s the right time. Timing isn’t always key. We all have fears that we have to conquer and it just becomes harder as you get older.
Am I making the best decision? Am I going to be happy? Is it going to be hard? Is it the right time? Who the hell knows because I sure don’t. All I really know is that I’ll have regrets. Regrets eat you alive more than any other feeling.
I know I’ve only been 30 for about 17 days, 10 hours and 45 minutes, however, I think that gives me a little authority on the subject.
Everybody tells you that it isn’t bad turning 30. In fact, they go one step further and say it’s like any other birthday. That’s a boldface lie. It’s slightly different because now you happen your an official adult. No more milestone birthdays to make transition through decades easier.
All jokes aside though turning 30 wasn’t as bad as I had envisioned. It was totally fine. If your definition is crying at weird moments throughout the weekend then it was totally fine. Not only did I cry during “Sing Street”, I cried at dinner, I cried after dinner before bed, I cried the following morning and I’m sure I cried some more. I’m placing blame on the new moon and Saturn’s retrograde.
New Lessons: Things I Learned In My 20s
It’s going to hurt. You will cry. It’s an excuse to buy shoes. Don’t let heartbreak harden your heart. Just because you like that person today, doesn’t mean you will in a few months. Have fun but try with caution. If you happen to find your soul mate, good for you. Every failed relationship is a way to look at yourself and see what it is you want and how to go about seeking it in positive ways.
You have to fail just once at something. If you fail, “Dust yourself off and try again.” -Aaliyah. Failure is one of the greatest teachers we can learn from. I’ve had my share of failures and it took a long time to finally come to a place where I’m okay with them. Without those failures, I don’t think I’d appreciate the lessons I’ve learned in the past few years. Check your ego at the door.
The family you choose is a wonderful thing. People come into your life at particular moment, sometimes they leave at particular moments. As you grow older, you want people in your group that are supportive, have similar ideals as yourself. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. It’s not satisfying. Some of these friends, you’ve shared tough and happy times with. Don’t take them for granted.
Time waits for no one. It’s precious. Learn it. Live it. Love it. No, I mean that. If people want to throw their bad energy into the harmony your trying to create, it’s really okay to walk away from those situations. You are in charge of your life and happiness. Your boss was fine before your arrival and he’ll be fine after your departure. However, if it comes to friendships, you should grow a set of balls and learn to talk about the issues before throwing away friendships. Communicate before you eradicate.
You start to appreciate yourself more than you thought you did. Spending time alone doesn’t bother you as much. Learning new hobbies actually seems like a fun idea. In an ideal world, the more we knew who we are and the more we love ourselves, the more you start to live life.
I know myself!
You never stop learning. People are always evolving. You come to a point where you realize, nobody really knows how to do this called “Adulting.” It’s just everybody trying to find their own path and dealing with the bumps along the way.
In essence, it’s not bad turning 30. A little scary because no two paths are alike. Keep making new mistakes, living when you can, creating memories and you’ll move forward.
Nothing a sheet mask and a glass of wine can’t fix, right?
Torn. Awful. Unloved. Forgotten. Are words that I would use to describe how my birthday makes me feel. I could go down the list on why each birthday sucked but I’m not.
25 started with “Wear Your Jeans To Work Day” and that should have been a warning sign. Of course, I got color on my favorite True Religion jeans. It gets better! When I got home from work, my friends went to a psychic reading and dinner after. WITHOUT ME. They know I don’t drive. So what did I do? I cried like a baby all night long.
27. Oh 27. Shall we go there? This has all signs pointed at “Worst Effin Birthday” from jump when my friend had mentioned I could stay with her but then flipped her shit and went completely crazed on me. I wasn’t able to change the ticket from Boston to Miami without paying an arm and a leg(Oh BTW thanks Delta for turning my $300 credit into $39) so I was going to take the train from Tampa to Miami. That didn’t happen. What happened?
I cancelled that vacation. Worked half the week. My coworker had taken me out for birthday drinks after work which was the nice thing that happened. I met with another friend who invited me out for her friend’s birthday. So I was dressed right but Boston has these stupid moronic club outfit guidelines. What happened? The bouncer said “Hey bro, I can’t let you in, you don’t have a collared shirt on!” and I said “Where do you expect me to get one this late?” and he shrugged. Dramatic exit into a random minivan cab with a stop at McDonald’s eating while crying to Anita Baker.
The person I was seeing at the time, dropped my steak when he had cooked me dinner. So what did I eat? What did I eat? Sweet potato fries and ice cream from J.P. Licks.
All I really want to do for my birthday is hear some good music. Good dancing. Good people. If these past birthdays are any indication in the Farmer’s Alamanac of what is to come, I’m screwed at 30!
So I wanted to travel extremely comfortable on my way to Los Angeles. As I mentioned in the earlier blog, I wore my new boots, for the reason that they are comfortable and I knew it was going to snow a ton. Guess what happened? A big black scuff mark in the middle of the boot because some girl didn’t take the time to pay attention. She back stepped on the train for no reason whatsoever. Guess I should have been a little more Fashionably Responsible.
How on earth am I going to get that out?
Best To Everyone in 2014
2013 TAUGHT ME:
I really love blogging. I love having an arena in which I can share myself and what makes me with everyone who decides to read. One of the hardest things I find that comes across my plate when it comes to blogging is just what is my blog about. I love talking about music, pop culture, fashion and the personal developments that I go through as young twentysomething year old.
JUST ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF:
One of the things that I noticed when I started blogging, was the focus of my blog was all over the place. Mainly because I was thrilled finally to have a blog but I wanted to take the time to figure out what it was that readers liked about me. Towards the end of the year, I discovered that people care about the personal development that I was going through but they really responded well to my views on fashion(recovering and always relapsing shopaholic).
Fashionably Responsible, well, I’ll be honest. I like the way it sounds. I’m not very responsible when it comes to shopping, I do it and I do it a lot. Now, I’m on a mission to justify everything that I buy because as I get older I realize that I should care more conscientious about things like that. Make purchases that will last a while and aren’t just a fad. Anyhoo……
I’ve finally found a New Year’s Resolution that will work for me. I own nothing that is really normal. Bold. Colorful. Graphic Print. Neon. Studded. Tight. Somehow it works and somehow I catch myself saying “What in the world are you doing?” I am going to buy normal clothing and shoes.PSSST! *eye roll*
However, before New Year’s a boy can always add two more things to his Christmas List right? I think I’ll take these two things over the Jeffrey Campbell’s Siren. However, walking around with a Lucite sole would be pretty bad ass. I think so anyways.
So over the summer, maybe it was early fall, I purchased a pair of studded platforms by a brand Y.R.U. They make all different styles of shoes,easily found on one of my other favorite retailers online Solestruck. What I particularly like is the comfort level that each shoe has. The loafers come in many different styles which is rare for a man to find. They have Cheetah print, moustaches, skull and bones, and a lot more. I bet you are wondering what would make me attracted to a loafer. Are you ready? Can you handle it? Nobody would even notice it except I would get lucky and have the kid who’s Hooked on Phonics trying to sound it out.
So I love Adidas Originals collaborations. I think it’s a great way to marry a designer with another designer and create amazing results. Respect Me from Missy Elliott was the first in such a relationship. They’ve known had other designers create collections such as Stella McCartney, Jeremy Scott and Opening Ceremony to name a few. Jeremy Scott, I feel though has been the longest collaboration. Angel Wing Sneakers. Bowling Sneakers. License Plates(Beverly Hills and now Miami) and surely who can forget the Teddy Bears!!!
A boy can add to his Christmas list just a bit more because New Year’s will be here soon enough. My resolution is to get a few normal shoes in my life. Things that effortlessly match with everything. Anybody up for that task? It’ll be fun!! We’ll see how long this reinvention idea lasts.
One of my really good friends told me that I should take the month of November and press pause on life. It sounded like such a great idea. I tried to press pause. However, my version of pause is probably not the pause that he was talking about. I think he meant to sit and reflect, turn off all electronics and focus on certain aspects of my life. What I did instead was create my version of pause and that was probably fast forward to the max!
I literally went from New York to Boston to Los Angeles to Boston and back to New York. I went on multiple interviews, met with multiple people in various industries to figure out what it is that I like. I thank the people who I met with so far and appreciate them helping me with this journey of self-discovery. Nothing short of epic. I am so thankful to have been able to catch up with old friends and this past weekend I was able to meet up with a friend of mine that I’ve literally known since we were 16 during the days of aim.
He remembers that we talked on dial-up, I don’t remember it being dial but you never know. It was awesome. It was great. I’ve found a new home and I want it to be Los Angeles. It’s a city that is so different from what I know on the East Coast. I think that it could be great and if not, I can always come home but I’m at an age where I need to take chances. Baby steps are great but sometimes taking a chance is what is going to propel you to the next level in life…….I hate taking pictures but I took some pictures…..
Just a little bit of what I’ve been up to since November. I can’t wait to actually take some time and press pause……
I have a checking account that I use regularly. However, I do like having a separate account to track my frivolous spending. I heard about this new service from card.com. It’s great actually! I was able to choose from over a 1000 different designs and I received it very quickly. What I like about the service, is that it’s a VISA and we all know that VISA is accepted everywhere. It doesn’t look like your typical prepaid card either but it’s so easy to load up. Check it out. Great for traveling too because if you ever lose it, it’s only the amount you’ve loaded on. http://www.card.com
Disclaimer: This was strictly just a post to reiterate to my friends how much I adore them. Love them. Miss them. Appreciate them in my life. They are amazing. It’s hard to find friends that you get along with. LOVE YOU GUYS!
What would you do for your friends? Or a Klondike bar?
It all started one day about 3.5 years ago, when I left my Blackberry(I wanted the Tour version, so I could pretend that I was important) unattended to find out that when I returned it was acting “KRAY KRAY” and that’s when I learned a coworker had spilled water on it. This was the start of 14 refurbished Blackberries(think that’s bad Danielle had 19) however this was just the beginning…..
I switched to the iPhone because I was told it would be glorious. Which it was for short period. It was however resilient. I only went through about 3 of those. One because it had damage but it felt in a bottle and died shortly after, never to work again. The first one I had replaced because there was a crack but by the time I got the second crack in the screen, I said “Whatever!” It definitely annoyed some people because it was straight
Then in February, I finally went with my gut instinct to buy the Samsung S Note 2. I was friends for a brief period last year with someone who had the first version. I was in love. Excuse My French: The Phone Was Kunty! Greatest decision ever! Not only do I not know how to use any of the functions on it, it’s just amazing. It’s big and not discreet but so whatever if someone catches you taking a look at Scruff(don’t be nosey)………
STOP. FAST FORWARD. PRESS PLAY.
19 days, 12 hours, 35 minutes and 23 seconds into having my grand phone. I met my first problem. The part where you speak into the phone decided to blow out, so I had to start using my POP Phone attachment for a while. I did get a replacement but I didn’t realize the Stylus is not included with the replacements. In other words I returned that one. Finally, I got the one that was right in every single way…………….
STOP. FAST FORWARD. PRESS PLAY.
As I’m leaving a 4th of July cookout, the unimaginable happens. Taken by surprise, I’m pulled into the pool in my full clothing. I looked sharp to sit in a car on the way home but in my one hand my phone was in it. Never in my life have I moved so fast, you would have thought I was saving my child from prey. Phone dead(part of the reason I haven’t been blogging lately) and then the phone that I’ve used interim well it’s a pretty damn hard phone to use. I miss my Samsung!
It’s funny how much something that we love becomes part of our identity. When my mother was telling the woman at Verizon what happened, Angela and she’s really good. She said “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen anybody love their phone as much as your son!” It’s true though. I’ll have my new one in a few weeks and I’ll be back to normal. It’s taught me to appreciate the things in life that I didn’t when I had a phone. What’s really funny about this whole situation, in the morning there is a woman who sits in my car, she’s kind of annoying but kind of not. She saw me with my electronics and this was like the Monday before the 4th and I kid you not, girlfriend looked at me and said “Take a weekend and be electronicless! Take some time to smell the air!”
Incase you were wondering when I was pulled in the pool:
Kriss Van Asche Beige and Navy Tank
H&M lightweight Grey Sweater
KR3W Hat in Red and Gold
Jeremy Scott for Adidas Originals “License Plate” Sneakers
I forgot how much really happened in THE OC. There were so many characters in the first season that I forgot about. So many extra things happened and it’s like WTF.
Some things that I didn’t touch up on that I didn’t really notice until further evaluation.
Marissa’s Chanel Collection Galore
This looks pretty off the rack if you ask me
Marissa Cooper: She is one lucky teenager! Her wardrobe consisted of everything from Chanel handbags(I counted 6 the first season), Chanel dresses galore(However, I think they were really just Kensie dresses), a Jeep Cherokee(that was legit), an ex-boyfriend who was like her friend and men that loved her like crazy….aside from Ryan there was Oliver(remember that crazy son of a bitch) president of some school committee(despite her father stealing everyone’s money) but she wasn’t without flaw. I forgot this crazy girl was out stealing at South Coast Plaza, had a severe drinking problem and so much more…..
Luke Ward: He had the hottest(subjective) girlfriend in the school. He was Captain of the Water Polo team. His dad had several car dealerships. One happened to b a Lexus dealership that sold Ford Mustangs. He had a great mom(looked nothing like him) and a dad that was like the coolest thing since Apple Pie until he was gay. Then Luke himself became a loser for some reason. He just totally became this weird in tune with his feelings singing out loud at the Rooney concert at the top of his lungs and it was kind of annoying. Whatever!
Summer Winter: Actually I don’t remember her last name but in light of North West Kardashian, I think Summer Winter is perfect. Summer still doesn’t really have any character development except she’s totally in love with Seth Cohen. She’s lost any ounce of cool that she once had and has totally fallen hard for this loser. She unlike Marissa has a richer dad but her wardrobe is lacking the Chanel dresses and Chanel bags. Then she dated this loser Danny. I’ll cut her a break. She’s a sideline character. Oh did I catch Summer with a Birkin Bag on her shoulder? Pretty sure it’s not a shoulder bag and that was a bootleg kind of bag…but whatever……
Seth Cohen: Loser. I don’t really need to talk about him unless you care but I don’t so we won’t.
Hailey Nichols: The younger, wild, sexy(again subjective) party crazed Aunt who only comes around to MOOCH. She mooches on the family when she wants something from Daddy(Caleb Nichols). Not much is known about her and really she wasn’t that interesting even when she tried to hit on Jimmy Cooper.
Julie Cooper: The character that had the major 180 turn around. So lets see all the things with this piece of work. So she’s a mother of 2. Marissa and Katelynn(who we never see after the first few episodes until she’s much older) She is divorcing Jimmy Cooper because basically he made her look like the piece of trash shes’ trying to not to portray but hello!!! Sooooooo…..I accidentally figured out her age because Kirsten said “You had Marissa at 18” well Marissa is 16 which means that Julie is 34. I’m not buying it but whatever. She’s the Queen of Mean. The Ice Devil.
Her breath is so cold turns a man into stone. She’s a manipulator. User. Social Climber. Everything bad but yet she makes this turn around to try to get Kirsten’s father and use him. I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I think she’s weird. She makes these weird comments like “Marissa so glad you wore the Chanel!”…….Let’s get one thing straight. Marissa has Chanel bags, Marc Jacobs jeans, but I’m pretty sure her dresses were Kensie, maybe Alice & Olivia but not Chanel. It’s ok. “You ain’t gotta lie Craig. You ain’t gotta lie”
He seemed normal.
He seemed to have the right connections.
We never saw this coming.
He just loved Marissa
Oliver Trask: This was the weirdest developing character of them all. He was only in a few episodes but this kid was a liar and a half. First, he said that his family owned the Four Seasons Hotel brand(LIAR). There is no Four Seasons in Newport Beach, however there is an Island Hotel(which is 5 stars) should have went that route. His family has homes in Colorado, Paris, Mammoth, etc. He has this ex-girlfriend who is doesn’t exist. Completely fabricated!!! He has connections to concerts and whatever else he can use to impress these kids. I mean I don’t really buy it. His haircut and the products he used was all wrong. It was so douchebag galore. Then he blows up and erupts and tries to kill Marissa in his hotel penthouse….this show goes there.
Anna Roberts: The weird girl from Pittsburgh who debuted in a ball that she had no business debuting in. She’s still weird and she’s wicked clingy in relationships. The loser. I can’t even touch base on her. I’d rather not!
This show as I said before. It goes there. It was before it’s time. Watching it over again so many years later, it’s interesting. I like it and it’s funny to analyze all the things wrong with it and all the bloopers. All the real things that happened in this show totally made Laguna Beach look like scripted television………….